Monday, January 11, 2010

The Bacon Explosion

This weekend, I witnessed a culinary [insert noun here]. Feat? Wonder? Atrocity? I'm not sure. It's called the bacon explosion and I had nothing to do with it. I was simply at my husband's college club's alumni ski trip, and two of the wackier alums (if you're reading this, I mean that as a good thing!) took it upon themselves to create the most awesome, heart-clogging mass of meat you've ever seen.

Here's how you do it:

Cook some bacon. Set it aside.
Take 10 pieces of raw bacon. Make a bacon basketweave.
Take two pounds of sausage. Layer it on top of the bacon.
Crumble the cooked bacon on top of that.
Roll it up.
Call 911.

Needless to say, this caused some strong reactions in the 15 people who had to share a ski cabin with the meat monstrosity. Some were salivating, others plugging their noses. Some, like me, were intrigued watching its assembly but nauseated by the end product (I didn't actually eat any--but the smell alone--woof!). Others (the majority, it seemed) had the opposite reaction. Lots of groaning and moaning as the meat log was assembled, but once it was cooked, it rapidly disappeared. Hmm.

Now, it's up to you if you decide to try this recipe or not. But I do have a few warnings.

1. Beware your cholesterol levels. The weak of heart should not attempt the bacon explosion.
2. Expect dirty jokes. Lots of dirty jokes. It'll be a regular sausage fest.
3. Prepare to smell like pork products for 3-6 days.

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